Its August 16, 2016. I know you’re in a lot of pain right now; I know that you’re really confused, because things were hard but all of a sudden you felt hope, and felt led to go to Savannah, only to be in a hit and run. I know that you’re angry at God, feeling like he sent you there for that reason, and I can tell you that God doesn’t hit people with cars, but you’ll probably just roll your eyes. I know you think that things are only going to get worse, that there’s not hope for a good future, and I know you're so upset that you're alone in the hospital, that the sleeping meds aren't working, and you're wide awake surrounded by curtains, wondering why this happened. Things are hard, don’t you deserve a break?
But there are a lot of things you don’t know.
You don’t know that while you’re laying in the hospital bed, you’re going to experience the beautiful peace and comfort of Spirit in ways you’ve never experienced before. You’re going to meet a stranger named Paul who’s going to speak words into your soul that you’ll never forget. You don’t know that when your mom drives you home, you’re going to miraculously sleep the whole eight hour car ride, feeling no pain.
You don’t know that it’s such a good thing that you’re not able to go to Onsite in September, because you’re going to meet the most beautiful people at the program in November, people you wouldn’t have known if you went as planned.
You don’t know that as you sit in the recliner watching Bob Ross, you’re going to start to create art with new mediums. In fact, you’re going to create so much that you’re going to have enough to do your first popup shop, broken leg and all. You don’t know that at your first popup, you’re going to meet a grown man who cries while hearing your story, who hugs you and says, “I’m so so happy you’re alive”.
You don’t know that as you are stuck in the living room, relying on your family to help you, you're going to go deep into relationship with them, enjoying their company and making up for years not living at home.
You don’t know that as you’re recovering from your accident, you’re going to begin to love your body and appreciate her more than ever before. Instead of a burden and a place of shame, you’re going to be excited about being able to sit criss cross again, putting on your own socks, re-learning to drive, and even learning to walk again. You’re going to start treating your body like a beloved relative.
You don’t know that in October your orthopedist is going to clear you to drive the week before your friend’s wedding, and you’re going to be able to hug all your Alabama family, seeing them for the first time in months.
You don’t know that after the wedding, you’re going to visit the Millers, and the Gillespie's will be there too, and you’re going to spend almost three weeks with your favorite people, doing things your heart dreams of doing, helping with art projects for the retreat, chasing fall up the mountain, drinking beer around the fire and painting on chilly mornings. You don’t know that you’re going to be able to experiment with different art forms, things you’ll repeat when you get home to sell at your markets.
You don’t know that by changing the dates to go to Onsite, you’ll be able to go to the Gillespie’s house show in Alabama, trick or treat with the Millers, and go to the first two days of their retreat. Onsite is going to be amazing, you’re going to love your group and the therapist you were assigned.
You don’t know that when you get home, you’re going to do a show at the West Palm Beach green market. You aren't going to sell anything, and will come home discouraged, calling Jimmie to say that you’re quitting, that being an artist doesn’t work. He’s going to tell you to try again, and in doing so, you actually do well enough to support yourself all winter.
You don’t know that doing the markets will really help you get out of your shell. You were always afraid to talk to new people, but as you do this, it gets easier and you actually begin to love it.
You don’t know that by posting a photo of your plant hangers to Instagram, you’re going to be asked to rent a space in an up and coming shop in West Palm Beach. You’re going to meet the girls and really connect with them, and even end up working for them. This place is going to inspire you and stretch you in amazing ways.
You don’t know that you’re going to be asked to edit a book by a successful author, and even though you’ve never done this before, you’re going to say yes. I’m so proud of you for saying yes.
You don’t know that you’re going to be invited to a dinner party for creative women in South Florida. You’re going to be really nervous, but you’re going to face your fears and have a great time, overcoming your wallflower-like tendencies, and laugh and tell stories.
You don’t know that you’re going to be able to go to the mountains and Alabama in March, visiting all your favorite people, playing in snow and sitting by fires, feeding your spirit and laughing uncontrollably.
You don’t know that you’re going to begin to teach workshops. And not just one workshop, but five workshops in less that two months. You’re going to be so nervous, but then love it. I'm proud of your for pushing through the fear.
You don’t know that you’re going to be asked to be part of a styled wedding shoot, You’re going to go set up your pieces and then see photos of them by professional photographers all over West Palm Beach.
You don’t know that your therapist is going to recommend that you start going to support groups at the Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness, and next thing you know, you're going to have a treatment team. You will get help for problems you’ve had for years. You’re going to make so many friends there, and despite your tendency to hide, you’re going to fill your spare time with healing and laughing.
You don’t know that you’re going to start selling wholesale, and by the end of summer, you’re going to have products in six stores in the U.S.
You don’t know that your mom is going to buy you plane tickets for your birthday, letting you visit the Millers as bookends to this beautiful year.
Yes, I said beautiful. I know you don’t believe me, but this year is going to be one of the best. Your tree limbs are going to grow, and so much gold is going to be built into you. Be patient. It’s coming. Start saying yes now and wait for the adventures.
Love your future self,
August 16th is the one year anniversary of my bike accident (you can read that story here), and this year has been both hard and sweet, lost and found, adventure and rest. I decided to mark the days and months, with little tributes on my instagram, using the hashtag, #greatbikewreck2016, and I would love to share them here, as a complete set.
August 16, 2016
September 16, 2016
October 16, 2016
November 16, 2017
December 16, 2016
January 16, 2017
February 16, 2017
March 16, 2017
April 16, 2017
May 16, 2017
June 16, 2017
July 16, 2017
August 16, 2017